Side Note

Before I go into all of the absolutely incredible things I had the opportunity to do this weekend I’d like to take a minute to address the issue of culture in the Middle East. When I first decided to come to Jordan I told myself it was going to be a great way to learn about Middle Eastern culture. Everyone asked me how I was going to acclimate to such a different culture. What was the main difference between Middle Eastern and Western culture? What did they do? What don’t they do? I asked myself these questions as often as they were asked of me. But I got something quite fundamentally wrong.

Even the study abroad office gets it wrong. They ask you to write out the differences you experience like you’re tallying off answers to some finite, definitive vocabulary box that describes the “Middle East”. The first thing I learned here was that there aren’t any words that can define the culture here. It is multifaceted and an experience entirely different to every person in it. Who is Jordanian? Who defines the culture? A major issue here is migration, which has had an incredible effect on the economy. Many people here introduce themselves as Syrian, Iraqi, Saudi, from the UAE, or Palestinian. I don’t recall the last time someone told me they were “true Jordanian”. Just like in the West there is an amalgam of people here with very different experiences and traditions that they bring to the table. I thought I would be able to bring home a paragraph that could state what Jordanian culture, at least, was. But I can’t.

Women’s issues have become more confusing an issue to me than ever. I’m a proud badge-wearing feminist, and I thought that would make my experience with women’s rights here very clear cut. But for every negative, angering experience I have or am witness to I hear from women positive and confident responses. Women here love the hijab. Not only is it something they feel brings them closer to God, but it protects them from the discomfiture of being ogled by men (which I can attest is something I would be relieved not to experience) and is a major fashion statement. All of our female language partners wear the hijab, and every one of them has nothing but wonderful things to say about the experience.

And then things happen like being told we’re not allowed to sit in part of a restaurant because we’re women. Or go into the restaurant. Being ogled is expected. Being harassed is normal. Being followed, shouted at, even touched is not surprising. Our female friends tell us they are not allowed to work, and I can’t help but wonder why their fathers even send them to college. There is such a fine line between respecting and understanding someone else’s traditions, experiences, and culture, and standing true to your own beliefs and ideals. And then sometimes you question whether your ideals are even correct. Do I have a right to let my hair show in public? Yes. Do I prefer to exercise that freedom or to feel safe from leering men in the streets? Is it oppression or common sense? Do we live out of fear or in danger? Is there a way to live without either?

There are no answers, only living here and going on every day, and learning that you are surprisingly good at going on with your life despite any adversities.